There’s something slightly strange about the end of summer. For weeks, we’ve been counting down to it, imagining long, light evenings, slow mornings, adventures, sea swims, barbecues and ice creams, with that lovely feeling that there’s nowhere you particularly need to be. And yet, if you’ve spent the last six weeks juggling work, family life and entertaining children or grandchildren, you’ll know that the summer holidays don’t always feel much like a holiday. They’re more of a summer endurance event, and frankly, you deserve a medal.

Somewhere along the way, you’ve probably been an entertainer, chef, cleaner, referee, taxi driver, sports coach, mountain leader, lifeguard and on-call snack magician. You’ve filled the fridge approximately seventeen times a day and answered the question, “What are we doing today?” more times than you care to remember. All while trying to keep on top of work, emails and the general running of life.

And what you don’t see in the lovely summer photographs are all the bits in between. The tiredness. The swearing from them and me. The children lolloping around bored, despite having approximately 400 things they could do. The sibling punch-ups and endless arguments over who has the most strawberries or the biggest piece of cake. The late nights, the exhaustion, the broken bikes, the broken boat and the endless supermarket trips. There’s the face you pull when someone asks for a snack five minutes after breakfast, and the BBQ kebabs you spent time and care marinating only to somehow burn beyond recognition. There’s the dirty top you’ve worn for five days because, well, it’s still technically clean enough. And the state of the back of the van.

Then there’s the juggling act of switching between work mode and mum mode, often within the space of about thirty seconds. Trying to concentrate on a work call while someone is asking where their goggles are. Answering emails while mentally keeping track of who needs picking up, what needs buying and whether anyone has actually eaten something vaguely nutritious that day. It’s the constant switching between being present here and being needed somewhere else, and I don’t think we talk enough about how exhausting that can be when we’re trying to find any kind of work-life balance.

But that’s life, isn’t it? Chaotic, wild, exhausting and completely unpredictable. One minute you’re laughing, the next you’re shouting. There are happy faces and pissed-off faces, tears followed by laughter, beautiful days followed by everyone falling out over something ridiculous. And, of course, so much washing. Always the washing.

Yet somehow, amongst all of that, there are the moments you’ll remember. The swim when the water was unexpectedly warm. The late evening sitting on the beach by the fire when nobody wanted to go to bed. The laughter that went on for far too long. The walk where everyone moaned the entire way there and then didn’t want to leave. The slightly chaotic birthday that felt like hard work at the time but will probably become one of those stories you tell for years to come.

What Does Success Really Mean?

And perhaps it’s made me think about what success actually means to me.

I think for a long time we’re encouraged to measure success by what we achieve. The job, the business, the house, the holidays, the money, the things we can tick off a list. And, of course, there’s nothing wrong with any of those things. But the older I get, the less interested I am in success that looks good on paper and the more interested I am in a life that feels good from the inside.

Success, for me, looks much more like time spent with the people I love. A calm mind. An open heart. The ability to love deeply and to be loved in return. To really see the people around me, and to feel seen myself.

Perhaps that is part of what wellbeing in midlife really means to me. Not another thing to add to the list, but creating a life with enough space in it to actually enjoy the life we’ve worked so hard to build.

It looks like having enough space to be spontaneous. To say yes to the swim, the walk, the adventure, the coffee, the weekend away. To be able to fold the laptop down when your child walks in crying and needs you in that precise moment, and to have the freedom to stop everything and be there.

Because not all benefits to a job can be banked.

Some of the most valuable things we experience have no financial value at all. You can’t put a price on being present when someone needs you. You can’t measure the feeling of laughing until your stomach hurts with your family, or sitting quietly beside someone you love, or having the time and space to notice that you’re actually okay.

And perhaps this is something we forget when we’re busy trying to do everything. Our mental wellbeing isn’t just about finding moments to rest when we’re completely exhausted. It’s also about creating a life where there is room to breathe, room for connection and room to be a human being rather than constantly moving from one task to the next.

My mum always used to say, “The days are long but the years are short.” And the older I get, the more I understand what she meant. Because one day, the house will be quiet. There won’t be bikes abandoned outside, wet towels on the bathroom floor or someone shouting that they’re hungry from another room. I suspect we’ll miss some of the noise, the mess and even the madness.

So perhaps the invitation, while we still have it, is simply to experience more of it. To take the spontaneous detour, stay out for the extra swim, sit in the sunshine for ten minutes longer than planned, put the phone down and notice what’s actually happening around you.

Because life isn’t meant to be one long list of things we need to achieve before we can finally relax. There will always be another email, another job to finish, another thing to organise.

My advice to you, as summer begins to wind down, is to make space for the things that can’t be measured or banked. Time with the people you love. A calm mind. An open heart. The freedom to stop when someone needs you, to laugh, to explore, to feel, to be spontaneous.

And every now and then, just take a proper breath and exhale.

I’m ready for a bit of routine. I’m ready to know what day of the week it is and, perhaps most importantly, what day of my cycle I’m on! I’m also rather grateful that the nights are getting darker before 9pm, because it means everyone might actually go to sleep before 10.

But as the summer holidays begin to wind down, I’m trying to hold onto the good bits. Not because every moment was idyllic, because it absolutely wasn’t, but because amongst the broken bikes, burnt kebabs, arguments and endless snack requests, there have been moments of pure joy.

Perhaps that’s what we’re really trying to collect. Not perfect summers, but memories. The kind we’ll look back on years from now and realise were some of the best bits, even if we didn’t always recognise them at the time.

So, if you’ve survived the summer juggling work, family, grandchildren, travel, childcare and everything else that comes with these long, full days, well done. You made it.

And if you’re secretly ready for a little more quiet, a little more routine and perhaps a little more time for yourself, I hear you.

Sometimes we need the chaos to appreciate the calm.

Happy Bank Holiday. I hope it’s peaceful.

And yes…Roll on back to school. 🙌

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Laura Bell is the founder of Zest Life and has been leading yoga and wellness retreats in the UK and abroad for over a decade. A qualified yoga teacher and experienced retreat leader, she designs and hosts small group retreats rooted in nature, movement and genuine care. Laura also works with organisations to design and deliver bespoke corporate wellness programmes and retreats - bringing the same standards of quality and thoughtful facilitation to workplace wellbeing.